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| Original artwork by STM - I know... stick to my day job. |
Sustainable Healthy Living, by Sheila Mullen – June 9
…Is
to be truly listened to and understood.
WHAT…? My
Point Exactly.
How
many times have you been talking when someone just starts talking over you? Or have
been cut off mid-sentence, to be told incorrectly what to do. Or you ask for
one thing and get another? It is not uncommon for people
to "wait to speak" rather than 'hear' attentively. How
frustrating, right? Your blood pressure rises and your muscles tense, leaving
you in a bad mood, or worse, not listening to them. The sad part is this is how
we normally communicate with each other. The truth is most of us really don’t
know how to listen. The skills of being a good listener are rarely taught, used
or understood, even though listening is an essential aspect of good communication.
Improving your ability to listen can radically alter your relationships as well
as your health and well-being.
Our
Perceptions Cloud our Ability to Listen
Our
life events and experiences establish our perceptions and worldviews. Some people are eternally optimistic,
while others find fault. If ten people witnessed the same car accident, each
person would recall the incident differently. Each story is accurate based on the individual’s life
perceptions. As someone speaks we unconsciously filter their story through our
own unique and highly individualized perceptions causing confusion and
misinterpretation during our conversations. Unfortunately, we think this is listening. Effective listening takes
concentration, effort and the ability to put your own agenda aside, for the
moment, so you can understand the other person's viewpoint. This is known as
active listening.
Master Active
Listening
Active listening requires work on the listener’s part to 'hear' what a
person is saying. Active listening
is a communication technique requiring the listener to feed back what she hears
to the speaker, through re-stating or paraphrasing what she has heard in her
own words, to confirm what she has heard and to confirm the understanding of
both parties. Essentially the listener is actively engaged in ensuring they
have clearly understood what the speaker has said. The ability to listen
actively demonstrates sincerity, and that nothing is being assumed or taken for
granted.
Build
Stronger Relationships
Active listening is most often taught to
improve personal relationships, reduce misunderstanding and conflicts,
strengthen cooperation, and foster understanding. If you learn to use active
listening skills to hear and comprehend the thoughts, feelings and concerns
behind the words, you'll make a speaker feel respected and also create an
understanding that leads to progress and mutual benefit.
Improve Your
Health
To
be truly listened to and understood is an experience of joy, peace-of-mind and
well-being. To truly listen to someone else, returns the same benefits unto
you. Everyone benefits when active listening skills are mastered.
Be
well and give the gift of listening well.
About Sheila Mullen – The founder of Continuous Motion Consulting, Sheila is passionate about engaging friends, family and community in improving their lives and the lives of those around them. Sheila spent more than 20 years in technology sales, marketing and development. She also has a background in organizational development, innovation and executive wellness coaching.
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